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FOR BETTER BODY LANGUAGE PUT FIRST THINGS FIRSTby Susan Berkley
If you’ve ever taken a public speaking class where the presentations were videotaped you’ve probably noticed that just about everyone has distracting body language about which they are unaware ---hair twirling, poor eye contact, fidgeting, flapping arms. We are often so completely clueless about how we come across to others that seeing ourselves on video can be quite a shock.
On my library shelf there is a little book called "Postures and Gestures". It is written by a famous speech coach who has worked with executives at some of the largest multinational companies, Postures and Gestures is filled with photos illustrating the proper body language one should use to express ideas: to show union interlace the fingers in front of the body; to indicate separation make a chopping motion across an upturned palm; to convey power clench your fist and so on.
The novice speaker might mistakenly believe that if he learns perfect body language "by the book", no one will notice his flaws. But like a man with a bad toupee, the audience can always tell when there is something we are trying to hide.
A lack of awareness of our body language is a symptom of a greater lack of awareness, a deeper disconnect within us. It’s a symptom that shouldn’t be ignored or masked by cover-up techniques, but actually explored as an opportunity for greater consciousness, deeper self-awareness.
Psychoanalyst Norberto R. Keppe, Ph.D. says in his new book "The Origin of Illness " (Campbell Hall Press, $14.95, http://www.analyticaltrilogy.org 201-541-8595) that we are terrified of consciousness. We think the perception of our problems, is dangerous. Yet even though we resist consciousness and try to avoid looking at ourselves on tape, awareness is still our most precious asset. Consciousness, even of something negative and embarrassing, is a doorway within, the first step to correcting our mistakes and perfecting our skills. And it is the only way we will keep from making fools of ourselves.
So next time you have to give a talk, be brave and get out the video camera. Tape your practice sessions and watch the playback with a friend. What do you see about yourself that comes as a surprise? What are you feeling inside? Are you overly concerned with looking good? Or are you genuinely concerned with sharing something of value with the audience, with giving others the best you have to give?
In public speaking as in life, the details of our body language—the way we hold our hands or how we stand on stage--are insignificant in comparison to the opportunity we have to better people’s lives.
When you get up to speak, align yourself with goodness, truth and beauty first. Pay attention to who you are on the inside, what you have to give, and then attend to the external details. In speaking as in life, do not give the inferior more attention than it deserves.
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Copyright 2003Susan Berkley From "The Voice Coach" ezine by Susan Berkley. reprinted with permission. For a free subscription visit http://www.greatvoice.com. Susan Berkley is a professional speaker and international communications expert. She is a top v
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