The Limits of Success

Motivation

The Limits of Success
by Art Berg



Everyone of us has been caught at one time or another making stereotypical assumptions about people, environments or things.  We see someone poorly dressed and so we may assume they are poor and uneducated.  We hear someone speaking with a strong accent and we make assumptions about their interests, families and prejudices.  We look at someone's address and we assume things about their values and lifestyle because of where they live.  Our assumptions are often made instantaneously ands with little conscience effort as we observe others' cars, clothes, hair-style, title, accent, religion or color of their skin. 

I honestly believe that, for the most part, these stereotypical assumptions are made without malice or intended prejudice.  Our background, upbringing, and environment simply work together to cause us to draw conclusions about people and things which may often be far from accurate.  Without intending to we can bring offense.  What is more damaging, I believe, is the limits we place on our own potential and opportunities when we do.

Recently, I arrived in Orlando to speak at a convention.  I had arrived at the airport at the wearisome hour of 1:30 in the morning.  I had reserved a car from one of the major car rental companies.  (I might add that this company has had a history with me of providing outstanding service for many years prior to this unfortunate incident).  After retrieving my bags, I proceeded to the area where the shuttle buses take you to the car rental lot.  Gratefully, the newer buses now have wheelchair lifts on them to accommodate me.  Once on the bus and situated where I needed to be, the driver proceeded to strap my wheelchair to the floor to ensure that it was secure while he drove.  I did not have a problem with this. 

Next, he began to put a three-point restrain system ( a seat belt) across my lap and shoulders.    I kindly suggested that I would prefer NOT to wear the seat belt.  Immediately, the driver insisted that I wear it or find another way to the car rental lot.  I asked him why, since there was no law requiring it, he demanded that I wear a seat belt.  He replied that it was for my safety.  I asked then why he wasn't concerned about the other six people on the bus' safety since they were NOT required to wear seat belts.  One of the other passengers even included a toddler.  He stated that the toddler had her mother with her.  That is when my blood began to boil.  I said, "So, what you are telling me is that if I bring my mother with me the next time then I don't have to wear the seat belt?  How about I just have her pin a note to my shirt next time that says 'He can sit up all by himself now?'"

We were at an impasse.  He insisted I wear the seat belt, despite the fact that no one else was required to (even the luggage had fewer restraints).  I refused to comply and I was unwilling to get off the bus.  Another bus had to be called out to deliver the other passengers to the car rental lot.  After a 30 minute standoff, I got an idea.  I transferred my self from my wheelchair into one of the seats on the bus.  I smiled at the driver and said, "Now, what do you think?  No seat belt over here."  That was all it took to satisfy him and he was willing to bring me to my car-unrestrained.

I was still livid.  After my business trip, I wrote a stern letter to the company telling them that their policy of giving me less consideration than a toddler or luggage was offensive.  I am certain that their policy did not come from a position of malice or intended prejudice, it was simply from making a stereotypical assumption-that I was incapable of making my own decisions regarding my own safety, while everyone else, toddlers included, were.

I am pleased to report that the Senior Vice President of the company contacted me personally, apologized for the offense, and issued a policy change effective immediately.

Each of us makes a variety of assumptions about people everyday based on what they wear, what they drive, how they speak, the color of their skin or the extent of their disability. When we make stereotypical assumptions about people, whether conscienceless or unconsciously, we limit our own potential and opportunity.  We may offend others.  We create unworkable environments.  We may even lose some opportunities.  Placing limits on others only limits our own success.

QUESTION: Does It bother you when others offer to help you (ie: with a door, etc.)

ANSWER:  I am never offended when others offer to assist me.  Their desire to help comes from the best within people-that is something I would rather encourage than not.  However, I rarely accept offers for help simply because I’d rather do it on my own-to be self-reliant.  Every now and then I feel sorry for someone, however, and I let them help anyway!


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Art Berg. All right reserved. For information contact Frog Pond at 800.704.FROG(3764) or email susie@frogpond.com.