Feeling Our Way Back To The "New Normal"

"What's the next big thing?" Business magazine, Fast Company, asks this in its October issue -- a question that now has an entirely new meaning.

Now we wonder, what is the “next” thing?

We're not even as preoccupied with "fast" now. Heroic New York Mayor Rudi Guiliani said, "If you want to help America now, you can go back to your normal way of life."

Yet, all across the country, Americans are realizing that life will never go back to normal. Rather we are beginning to grope our way toward the New Normal way of life. Whatever that will be, we do not yet know.

For those of you who are thinking of clicking away now to avoid "another depressing story about the terrorists' attacks," know you can jump to the end of this ezine to find some (I hope) uplifting and practical ways to find your way to the New Normal, to rebuild your life in this new world.

A recent Gallup poll found that seven in ten Americans reported that they were depressed, one in two find it difficult to concentrate. Americans are searching for their sane path in a less secure world. And feeling their way to the New Normal is causing people to re-think their priorities in every part of their lives.

Here's this from the Wall Street Journal: "At nearly every level of the work force, a subtle but far-reaching shift in priorities is under way. Values that were pre-eminent for many people -- career, status, money, personal fulfillment -- now are taking a back seat to more fundamental human needs: family, friends, community, connectedness with others."

Many reactions and most decisions look different now. We are making room in our lives to re-think priorities.

How will we find the New Normal? In the ancient, most primeval way we always have: we instinctively gather.

When we first saw the planes crash, we touched our keypads to connect with those we treasure. Now, in healing and moving on, we need "face time." Face-to-familiar-face time with people who matter to us, so we can figure out how we feel and what we want to do next. We may cry, argue, go silent, and talk again, but we will do it together. From soccer field to synagogue, boardroom to back room, we are gathering to reduce the pain of life gone awry.

Although the New Normal campfire might be virtual, the gathering can be real. Real enough for sharing our stories in person and starting the next chapters together.

Make Those Meetings More Meaningful

This isn't the time for isolation or for solo performances. Now's the time to create, not cancel your professional conferences, dinners with friends, club meetings, and family get-togethers. Through them you will learn how to build your New Normal together with kindred spirits. Make more gatherings potluck, with each person contributing what they can.

Going back to our future means recognizing our innate resourcefulness, reaching out to diverse others, and realizing what is core to our lives together. Because gathering together is how we will sort out who we are and where we belong now in the New Normal, learning better ways to connect with each other is today's most vitally needed skill.

Meet Me on the Couch

Two huge vans pulled up to the convention center, and uniformed men began to unload dozens and dozens of rented couches -- yes, couches. Was it a meeting? You bet! Ordinary? Not even! The event planner wanted to create an environment that encouraged a "four aces" happening. The couches were arranged in the ballroom and complemented with tables and shaded lamps. The next day, positively outrageous customer-service speaker T. Scott Gross and attendees entered the room and began laughing, then kidding about who would get to sit with whom. Who would get the most comfortable seat? By the time the meeting officially "started," the atmosphere felt more like a familial gathering than a formal work meeting. Years later they still talk about that meeting.

Use Your Plucky Aces

Here are four "aces": suggestions for cementing relationships in an uncertain world. Consider them your PLUCKY ACES -- for making gatherings really matter, when life deals an unexpected hand.

Place Time: Whether it is sitting on comfy couches at a conference or having a walking meeting outside with your club members, find ways to make the place you meet more meaningful.

Face Time: Go slow to go fast forward. Tapping the keypad does not feel the same as shaking your hand. Seeing your email does not feel the same as smiling back, face-to-face. Because you cannot stop time, make time for conversation with friends, family, and peers -- even past critics.

Grace time: Give thanks to each other, for each other, and about each other. Reach out to offer smarter support sooner, so you shine a light on the power of mutual support. Rather than finding fault, find more ways to praise the actions you want to flourish. Praise people to the ones who matter most to them. Praise the good acts of even those who are troublesome to you. If not now, when? After all, you can't support the positive side of people with negative feedback. Say your blessings out loud, suggest ways to be resourceful together, and let the complaints slide away.

Change of Pace Time: If we didn't get it before, we do in the New Normal view of life: life can be a race to win or a journey where more moments matter. Multi-task less. Change the pace to seize the moment. We gather for markers in our life -- time to mark what matters. Celebrate, reminisce, share together as we can only when we alter our ordinary routine, away from our usual scene.

The "New Normal" term was coined last week by Philip Schwartz, co-founder of Brain Darts (TM).  These New Normal ideas are brought to you by the near-normal trio of Bruce Turkel, T. Scott Gross, and Kare Anderson.


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Kare Anderson. All right reserved. For information contact Frog Pond at 800.704.FROG(3764) or email susie@frogpond.com.