Learning to Say No to Your Boss

Time Management

Learning to Say No to Your Boss
by Jeff Davidson



The increase in productivity that has accompanied office technology results in workers being accomplish more and more each day. Learning to tell your boss no with professionalism and tact is essential to your sense of breathing space.

The ever-growing array of office technology allows you to do far more in a day than your predecessors. It also gives your company or organization the opportunity to get more out of you--and to expect more from you. You used to generate a handful of letters each day, if you were lucky. Now, with a few keystrokes, you can crank out 1,000 letters and still have time to be exhausted before the end of the day.

The paradox of today's work environment is that the more you can do, the more that's expected of you. Expectations about what you can accomplish arise immediately with the introduction of tools that facilitate accomplishments. This explains why you frequently feel like a modern Lucille Ball: You're still working on an assembly line that you can't keep pace with, but yours is digital, byte-sized, ethereal, and cyber-driven.

Since you're a good worker, you're happy to help your organization. Yet you don't want to be a wimp who's been requested (or demanded) to perform feats of productivity simply because you can, without regard to your personal well-being and balance. Let's explore further taking charge of your turf and winning back your time--starting with the challenge of managing your boss.

Managing Your Boss

There are whole books on this subject! Fortunately, I'm going to encapsulate them for you in the following sentence: You will be treated by your boss in the way you teach your boss to treat you. It may sound like a gross over-simplification, but look around your organization. Who gets stepped on and who is handled with kid gloves?

The office wimps are used as doormats, and those who are a bit more particular as to how their workday unfolds are treated with a tad more respect. The key to not having your boss consume the time in your life (beyond the normal workday) involves re-examining the issues and learning specific phrases that you can offer as needed.

What to Do When Your Boss Wants You to be a Workaholic

You've got this great position in a great organization. There's only one itty-bitty problem--your boss is a workaholic and expects the same from you. This situation requires tact and professionalism. Since you can't easily change your boss's nature by confronting his/her workaholism, it will effect you.

Here are some key phrases (which work even better if your boss is not a workaholic) to help you out. Commit these to memory, since in many cases it's essential that your retort be automatic: * "I'm over-committed right now. If I take that on, I won't be able to do it justice."

"I appreciate your confidence in me. I wouldn't want to take this on knowing my other tasks and responsibilities will prohibit me from doing an excellent job."

"I'd be happy to handle this assignment for you, but realistically, I can't do it without foregoing the other things I'm working on. Of tasks a and b, which can I put aside?"

"I can do that for you. Will it be okay if I get back to you in the middle of next week? I currently have blank, blank, and blank in the queue."

"The number of tasks and the complexity of assignments I'm handling is mounting. Perhaps we could look at a two or four week scenario of what's most important, versus what I can realistically handle over that time period."

Even workaholics are appreciative of your efforts. When the boss knows that you naturally work hard, he/she is not as likely to impose on you. A great time to make a sterling effort is when the boss is away, though most people follow the old adage, "When the cat's away, the mice will play."

If you're the one who works hard when the boss is away, it will help convey the message that he/she doesn't need to constantly keep heaping on assignments. It behooves you to be the one that's able to go into the boss's office, after he/she returns, and say, "Here's that big report you wanted. It's completed."

When the boss is outside the office, that's when he/she is most likely to monitor who's doing what at the office. The boss calls in frequently, inspects things more closely upon returning, and is on edge knowing that most employees will slack off. Hence, this is your chance to shine and teach this workaholic that you don't need to be mother-henned. You will consequently make great strides toward controlling your time.

Defending Your Calendar

Do you fall into time traps when you look at your calendar months in advance, and nothing is scheduled? Suppose Jim asks you to volunteer three months from now. You open your appointment book, or look on your scheduling software and, finding that you aren't doing anything on that day, agree to help. You mark it dutifully on your calendar, intending to honor your commitment. The two months pass, and the date approaches when you promised Jim you'd volunteer. You notice that you now have responsibilities on and around it.

A day before the time you're supposed to help Jim, your schedule is jam-packed. Suddenly, Jim's longstanding request is an intrusion. Yet when he asked, and you affirmed his request, all seemed docile. This leads to Jeff's Law Of Defending Your Calendar which, among other things, states, "An empty calendar is not such a bad thing."

Why are you inclined to schedule tasks, responsibilities, and events, and not to schedule leisure activities--particularly those on weekdays after work? Hopefully you have no trouble scheduling vacations. What about scheduling calendar pockets of fun, leisure, and relaxation throughout your week?

You need to continually defend your calendar; if you don't, it will fill with unworthy activities. I'm not saying that volunteering to help someone isn't worthwhile, but on the heels of five thousand other things, it may not be appropriate for you to take on another task.

Your life, your career, year, month, work week, and day are finite. If you are similar to other career professionals, your calendar is your life. You need to defend it.

I suggest you go through prior years' calendars and examine the appointments, activities, and tasks you entered. You'll gain perspective as to how many things you scheduled that you could have done without. In reviewing my prior calendars, I observed that 40% to 50% of my activities were nonessential; most could have been cut because they weren't in accordance with my priorities and goals. I had either yielded to the whim of the moment, or I hadn't developed the ability to say no.

Avoid and Win

Here's a quick checklist to help you determine if you can safely avoid adding some future commitment to your calendar: * Is it aligned with your priorities and goals?

Are you likely to be as prone to saying yes to such a request tomorrow or next week?

What else could you do that would be more rewarding?

What other pressing tasks and responsibilities are you likely to face?

Does the other party have other options besides you? Will he/she be crushed?

Do you like him/her?

If none of the above work, make your decision in three days, particularly when you can respond by phone, mail, or fax. It's much easier to decline when no one is physically before you.


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Jeff Davidson, MBA, CMC, is a popular conference speaker and author of 28 books, including Breathing Space (Feb 2000). For books, videos, cassettes, or presentations, visit http://www.BreathingSpace.com, FAX (919) 932-9982, or call (919) 932-1996.